I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
