Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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