Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
