i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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