Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
