I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
