the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
