You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
