Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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