I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
