before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
