Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
