Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
