nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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