i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
