One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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