That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
