addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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