I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
