I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
