im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
