had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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