i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
