i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
