I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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