we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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