Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
