Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
