I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
