At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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