By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
