i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
