seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
