Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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