Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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