he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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