you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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