is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
