At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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