Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
