We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
