Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
