Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
