You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
