Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
