My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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