who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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