Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
you win again, gameday.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Text me some of your sweat
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