Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
