I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
