question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
