I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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