I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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