I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
